1
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:04,463
Charlie? Where's Charlie?

2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,173
Check the living room.

3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,176
- Charlie, guess what?
- Somebody call me?

4
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,220
Not me.

5
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,848
He's not in the living room.

6
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:16,725
- Try his bedroom.
- Thanks.

7
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,518
Charlie, you gotta see this.

8
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,562
Are you sure nobody's calling me?

9
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:22,648
Wouldn't I tell you?

10
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,653
Berta, he's not in his room.

11
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:30,781
- What?
- I said, he's not in his room.

12
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,824
What?

13
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,787
- Did you find him?
- He's not up there.

14
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,831
- Try Jake's room.
- What'd he be doing in Jake's room?

15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,833
Hey, I'm just trying to help.

16
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,420
I'm sorry. Charlie!

17
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,006
I'm sure I heard something.

18
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,926
I don't know what to tell you.

19
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,847
I could do this all day.

20
00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:12,679
Charlie.

21
00:01:12,846 --> 00:01:14,181
Hey, Alan.

22
00:01:14,348 --> 00:01:17,309
- Didn't you hear me calling you?
- Oh, that was you.

23
00:01:17,518 --> 00:01:19,686
Of course it was me.
Who else would it be?

24
00:01:19,895 --> 00:01:21,522
Don't snap at me.

25
00:01:21,688 --> 00:01:23,732
I've been running all over
looking for you.

26
00:01:23,899 --> 00:01:25,234
Well, I was right here.

27
00:01:25,401 --> 00:01:28,028
I know that now.

28
00:01:28,404 --> 00:01:30,531
Hey, that's no reason
to have a hissy fit.

29
00:01:30,697 --> 00:01:33,784
Hissy fit? This is not a hissy fit.

30
00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:37,871
Say it higher, Alan. A couple of dogs
in the neighborhood didn't hear you.

31
00:01:39,832 --> 00:01:41,500
I'm all done. I'm going home now.

32
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,001
- Thank you.
- Good night.

33
00:01:43,585 --> 00:01:45,712
Good night, my pets.

34
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:49,424
Now that you've managed to find me,
what do you want?

35
00:01:49,591 --> 00:01:52,970
There was something I was excited
to show you, but now I don't want to.

36
00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:55,681
- I'm okay with that.
- So am I.

37
00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:57,516
Oh, come on. You gotta see this.

38
00:01:58,725 --> 00:02:00,769
All right. Fine.

39
00:02:01,478 --> 00:02:03,105
Hey. Wait a minute.

40
00:02:03,272 --> 00:02:05,149
Did Berta know you were out here?

41
00:02:05,315 --> 00:02:08,235
Very mature, Alan. Blame the maid.

42
00:02:12,990 --> 00:02:14,575
Oh, you bought a Porsche.

43
00:02:15,159 --> 00:02:18,579
"Porsche." What do you think?

44
00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:21,748
It's cute.

45
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:23,375
What do you mean, cute?

46
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:26,170
I mean, it looks like my car's
hot little girlfriend.

47
00:02:28,046 --> 00:02:31,675
Are you saying this is a chick car?
Because it isn't. It's a Porsche.

48
00:02:32,009 --> 00:02:33,552
Yeah. The cute little one.

49
00:02:34,261 --> 00:02:36,263
No, no, no. It's the sporty one.

50
00:02:37,472 --> 00:02:39,391
If your sport is girls' basketball.

51
00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:43,520
No, no, it's got the fuel injection,
and the rack and the pinion...

52
00:02:43,687 --> 00:02:46,106
...and the leather thingy
to cover the hood.

53
00:02:46,607 --> 00:02:48,275
That's called a bra, Alan.

54
00:02:48,483 --> 00:02:51,194
Yeah, but it's made of leather.

55
00:02:52,237 --> 00:02:54,865
- All right. Whatever.
- It is not a chick car.

56
00:02:55,032 --> 00:02:58,201
The salesman showed me brochures
with pictures of guys driving it.

57
00:02:58,869 --> 00:03:01,163
Alan, if a monkey walked
into the dealership...

58
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:04,082
...he'd have been shown
pictures of monkeys driving it.

59
00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:07,127
Monkeys can't drive a stick.

60
00:03:08,754 --> 00:03:12,382
Now, come on.
We'll go for a spin, pick up Jake.

61
00:03:12,716 --> 00:03:14,760
Where'd you get the money for this?

62
00:03:14,927 --> 00:03:15,969
Where'd you get it...

63
00:03:16,136 --> 00:03:19,264
...because they're not cheap.
- No, no, they are not.

64
00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:24,436
Where'd you get the money for this?

65
00:03:26,813 --> 00:03:28,649
The money. Where'd you get it?

66
00:03:28,815 --> 00:03:31,276
Oh, I got it from...

67
00:03:31,985 --> 00:03:35,280
- What?
- I got a loan from...

68
00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:40,410
Alan, where'd the money come from?

69
00:03:40,994 --> 00:03:43,205
I found it.

70
00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:46,416
- Alan?
- Mom.

71
00:03:46,583 --> 00:03:48,752
You traded your soul for a Porsche.

72
00:03:48,919 --> 00:03:53,131
I didn't trade my soul,
and it's "Porsche."

73
00:03:54,591 --> 00:03:56,176
Alan, why didn't you come to me?

74
00:03:56,343 --> 00:03:57,969
No, I already owe you so much.

75
00:03:58,136 --> 00:04:00,889
You won't let me pay rent
and you pay all the utilities.

76
00:04:01,098 --> 00:04:03,308
Keeping that in mind,
did you ever consider...

77
00:04:03,475 --> 00:04:06,186
...taking the money from Mom
and paying me back?

78
00:04:09,523 --> 00:04:11,358
No, not really.

79
00:04:11,942 --> 00:04:15,529
Come on. Let me show you
what this baby can do.

80
00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:24,538
Well, what do you know?
Monkeys can drive a stick.

81
00:04:27,916 --> 00:04:30,210
You know, the salesman was right.

82
00:04:30,377 --> 00:04:32,796
You really do feel special
in one of these things.

83
00:04:32,963 --> 00:04:36,049
Oh, yeah. Probably not a lot
of middle-aged, divorced guys...

84
00:04:36,216 --> 00:04:38,510
...driving around L.A. in a Porsche.

85
00:04:39,052 --> 00:04:41,221
"Porsche."

86
00:04:41,388 --> 00:04:43,682
Oh, wait, I forgot to show you
the best part.

87
00:04:48,728 --> 00:04:51,731
Alan, that's a NASCAR hat.

88
00:04:51,898 --> 00:04:54,025
Yeah, they were
out of the Porsche hats.

89
00:04:54,192 --> 00:04:57,446
I wanted something that said speed
and performance, so I got this.

90
00:04:57,612 --> 00:05:01,616
What you should be wearing
is a hat with a propeller on top.

91
00:05:02,242 --> 00:05:03,869
Come on, open her up.

92
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:06,163
The first 1000 miles
is the break-in period.

93
00:05:06,329 --> 00:05:08,206
You're not supposed to go over 65.

94
00:05:08,373 --> 00:05:09,833
Well, then go 65.

95
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,502
The speed limit is 60.
You want me to get a ticket?

96
00:05:12,669 --> 00:05:15,130
Alan, you're driving
an expensive red sports car.

97
00:05:15,297 --> 00:05:18,800
If you're not getting tickets and tail,
you might as well take the bus.

98
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:21,511
Which, by the way, just passed us.

99
00:05:22,470 --> 00:05:25,765
I am going plenty fast,
thank you very much.

100
00:05:25,932 --> 00:05:27,601
Can we at least put the top down?

101
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:31,271
No, I wanna trap the new-car smell in
as long as I can.

102
00:05:31,438 --> 00:05:33,982
Man, are you anal-retentive.

103
00:05:34,149 --> 00:05:38,195
You need a bumper sticker that reads,
"My other car is a puckered rectum."

104
00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:43,617
Oh, yeah. Like I'd desecrate this car
with a bumper sticker.

105
00:05:49,706 --> 00:05:52,042
God, I love that sound.

106
00:05:56,713 --> 00:05:59,090
Will you stop it?

107
00:06:12,646 --> 00:06:16,066
Jake, your dad's here.
Where's your car?

108
00:06:16,232 --> 00:06:18,735
Oh, my car? My car is...

109
00:06:20,987 --> 00:06:22,322
...right there.

110
00:06:22,489 --> 00:06:25,283
- You got a Porsche?
- "Porsche."

111
00:06:26,618 --> 00:06:30,038
I have to struggle to make ends meet,
and you can buy a Porsche?

112
00:06:32,832 --> 00:06:35,752
What are you talking about?
Your ends have not only met...

113
00:06:35,919 --> 00:06:38,630
...they've been to Hawaii
and remodeled the kitchen.

114
00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:41,508
Don't change the subject.
How can you afford a fancy car?

115
00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:44,427
Well, I can't afford it, really.

116
00:06:44,636 --> 00:06:46,304
Maybe I have to call my attorney.

117
00:06:46,471 --> 00:06:49,349
And re-examine our whole
alimony/child-support agreement.

118
00:06:49,516 --> 00:06:51,393
No, no, you don't.

119
00:06:52,644 --> 00:06:55,313
It wasn't very expensive.

120
00:06:56,564 --> 00:06:58,900
This is the girl version. Right, Charlie?

121
00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:03,405
Oh, yeah, yeah. You've gotta kiss it
before you can even stick the key in.

122
00:07:03,571 --> 00:07:07,158
Judith, you have nothing to worry about.
You've successfully sucked me dry.

123
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:09,994
Absolutely. This guy's farting dust.

124
00:07:10,161 --> 00:07:12,622
Then where'd he get
the money for the car?

125
00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:15,041
He borrowed it from our mother.

126
00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:17,544
Give me a break.
Even Alan's not that stupid.

127
00:07:17,711 --> 00:07:19,295
Oh, but he is.

128
00:07:19,462 --> 00:07:21,923
I am. I swear to God.

129
00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:27,512
- Hey, cool car. Is it yours?
- Yeah.

130
00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:31,683
We're gonna have to talk
about my allowance.

131
00:07:34,519 --> 00:07:36,438
Okay, well, have a nice weekend.

132
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:39,858
Wait a minute. That's a two-seater.
Where's he gonna sit?

133
00:07:44,946 --> 00:07:47,699
And you didn't believe
he was that stupid.

134
00:07:55,081 --> 00:07:57,834
We're going way over
the speed limit.

135
00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:02,046
Let me worry about that.
You just keep looking for cops.

136
00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:12,390
I don't usually take a cab.

137
00:08:12,807 --> 00:08:17,520
I drive a red Boxster.
You know, Porsche.

138
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,523
- Those are very nice.
- Thank you.

139
00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:22,859
My sister has one.

140
00:08:28,489 --> 00:08:31,242
- Hey, Berta. You seen my brother?
- Did you check his room?

141
00:08:31,618 --> 00:08:33,203
Thanks.

142
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:38,124
Sweetie, it is a beautiful car.
Congratulations.

143
00:08:38,291 --> 00:08:42,212
- Thanks, Mom. I'm really enjoying it.
- Well, your Aunt Sylvia loves hers.

144
00:08:42,879 --> 00:08:44,339
Berta, have you seen Charlie?

145
00:08:44,505 --> 00:08:45,924
Look out on the deck.

146
00:08:50,386 --> 00:08:52,555
- I was looking for you.
- I was in the garage.

147
00:08:52,722 --> 00:08:55,016
- I was looking for you.
- I was looking for Alan.

148
00:08:55,183 --> 00:08:56,809
I was in the garage.

149
00:08:58,686 --> 00:09:00,271
Okay. Bye.

150
00:09:04,192 --> 00:09:06,903
Oh, sure. Blame the maid.

151
00:09:08,363 --> 00:09:12,325
Oh, Alan, before I forget,
I need to ask you for a little favor.

152
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,410
Your soul, please.

153
00:09:14,869 --> 00:09:16,829
Charlie, for God's sake...

154
00:09:16,996 --> 00:09:19,540
Careful. I don't think
you're allowed to say "God"...

155
00:09:19,707 --> 00:09:21,960
...without bursting into flames
or something.

156
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:25,129
Shush with your antichrist humor.

157
00:09:25,296 --> 00:09:27,548
It's getting old.

158
00:09:27,715 --> 00:09:30,510
Alan, I'd like you to join me
for dinner tomorrow night.

159
00:09:30,677 --> 00:09:33,763
- Why?
- I'm dating a man I'd like you to meet.

160
00:09:34,430 --> 00:09:35,765
And?

161
00:09:35,974 --> 00:09:38,559
He has a lovely daughter about your age.

162
00:09:38,726 --> 00:09:40,895
Sayeth the serpent.

163
00:09:42,897 --> 00:09:46,484
No. Mom, please, please,
please, no blind dates.

164
00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:50,947
Why not? She's a sweet girl
and I think you might really hit it off.

165
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:54,826
- Why can't Charlie go out with her?
- Hey, she didn't buy me a car.

166
00:09:55,743 --> 00:09:58,663
This has absolutely nothing
to do with the car.

167
00:09:58,871 --> 00:10:01,290
Besides, I want
to get closer to this man.

168
00:10:01,499 --> 00:10:03,918
Should the time come
when I want an ugly breakup...

169
00:10:04,085 --> 00:10:06,671
...I'll let you
take a crack at his daughter.

170
00:10:06,838 --> 00:10:08,631
I'm sorry, Mom. But I'd rather not.

171
00:10:08,798 --> 00:10:11,801
Alan, I bought you a car.

172
00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:17,140
I love the smell of brimstone
in the morning.

173
00:10:19,934 --> 00:10:21,894
Tomorrow night, 8:00, Le Pissoir.

174
00:10:23,104 --> 00:10:25,773
- I really appreciate this, darling.
- Sure.

175
00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:30,278
Oh, one more thing. She's been
through a rough patch lately...

176
00:10:30,445 --> 00:10:33,281
...so we won't be ordering alcohol.

177
00:10:33,448 --> 00:10:34,532
Bye-bye.

178
00:10:42,623 --> 00:10:44,208
No, really. She sounds great.

179
00:10:55,552 --> 00:10:58,513
Looks like my mom and your dad
are running a little late.

180
00:10:59,473 --> 00:11:01,224
Typical.

181
00:11:02,809 --> 00:11:06,104
Yeah. So you're in town
for the weekend. Where do you live?

182
00:11:06,688 --> 00:11:08,648
Palm Springs.

183
00:11:08,815 --> 00:11:11,026
That's nice.
How long have you lived there?

184
00:11:12,319 --> 00:11:14,571
Forty-two days, so far.

185
00:11:15,697 --> 00:11:17,073
Forty-two days?

186
00:11:17,741 --> 00:11:20,827
Yeah. This is my first weekend pass.

187
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:28,251
I was supposed to get one at 30,
but I bit a guy.

188
00:11:29,586 --> 00:11:32,380
- Would you like a cocktail?
- No, no, no cocktails. No.

189
00:11:32,547 --> 00:11:35,175
- No, that's all right. You can have one.
- No, I'm fine.

190
00:11:35,342 --> 00:11:37,511
- Oh, please. Go ahead.
- No. I don't think...

191
00:11:37,677 --> 00:11:40,847
Order a drink, damn it.
I wanna smell it.

192
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,853
We're fine. Maybe just a fizzy water.

193
00:11:48,355 --> 00:11:49,773
So, what do you do?

194
00:11:51,816 --> 00:11:53,193
I'm a chiropractor.

195
00:11:53,401 --> 00:11:56,571
Really? Can you prescribe stuff?

196
00:11:57,322 --> 00:11:58,865
No.

197
00:12:04,246 --> 00:12:05,664
Did you hear that?

198
00:12:06,081 --> 00:12:09,584
- It's my phone.
- Oh, thank God.

199
00:12:11,628 --> 00:12:15,090
Hello? Oh, hey, Mom. Where are you?

200
00:12:15,257 --> 00:12:17,342
Yes, she's here.

201
00:12:17,509 --> 00:12:22,430
Yes, very sweet. Where are you?

202
00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:26,184
Trudy, Trudy, there's no smoking.

203
00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:31,189
Oh, that's just great.
Just jim-freaking-dandy.

204
00:12:32,941 --> 00:12:36,987
You guys are coming, right?
Well, what am I supposed to do?

205
00:12:39,406 --> 00:12:41,449
Yes, I know you bought me a car.

206
00:12:42,534 --> 00:12:45,495
All right, all right. All right. Goodbye.

207
00:12:47,622 --> 00:12:50,834
Apparently, your father mixed up
his heart pills with his Viagra...

208
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:53,336
...and they didn't wanna
waste the opportunity.

209
00:12:53,837 --> 00:12:55,422
So he's not coming?

210
00:12:55,839 --> 00:12:57,716
Well...

211
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:02,637
Perfect. Just perfect.

212
00:13:02,804 --> 00:13:05,974
That son of a bitch
never cared about me.

213
00:13:06,141 --> 00:13:07,475
Trudy, Trudy...

214
00:13:08,435 --> 00:13:12,772
He'd rather spend the night
with some old hose bag.

215
00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:17,235
That old hose bag is my mother...

216
00:13:17,402 --> 00:13:20,071
...and there's still no smoking in here.
I'm sorry.

217
00:13:20,238 --> 00:13:23,450
Careful. I bit the last guy
who tried to touch me.

218
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:32,542
Yeah, well, that doesn't mean
we can't have a nice meal.

219
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:34,335
I'll call the waiter.

220
00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:39,090
Hello, hello.
Yeah, we're ready to order.

221
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:49,225
Remind me to get some clean urine
from you before we go.

222
00:13:54,105 --> 00:13:56,900
<i>- Two hundred forty pounds...
- What are you doing?</i>

223
00:13:57,484 --> 00:13:59,152
Picking off the pepperonis.

224
00:13:59,736 --> 00:14:01,654
Then why'd you order it
with pepperonis?

225
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:04,157
I like to stack them up
and eat them in bed.

226
00:14:08,119 --> 00:14:10,789
Hello? Hey, Mom.

227
00:14:10,955 --> 00:14:12,624
No, Dad's not here. He's on a date.

228
00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:17,045
Hang on. Uncle Charlie's talking to me.
Yeah?

229
00:14:17,212 --> 00:14:19,464
Don't tell your mom
your father's on a date.

230
00:14:19,631 --> 00:14:21,716
- It's none of her business.
- Okay.

231
00:14:21,883 --> 00:14:23,885
He's not on a date.

232
00:14:24,719 --> 00:14:27,096
Hang on. She wants to talk to you.

233
00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,808
Uncle Charlie's not here.

234
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,022
Give me that.

235
00:14:36,272 --> 00:14:38,107
Hey, Judith. What's up?

236
00:14:38,316 --> 00:14:41,402
Well, he's not a bright kid.
What do you want from me?

237
00:14:43,613 --> 00:14:45,240
I don't know where Alan is.

238
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,283
Would you like me
to give him a message?

239
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,036
Because who knows?
Maybe this time I will.

240
00:14:52,288 --> 00:14:53,998
No message.

241
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:57,585
How come it's a secret
Dad's on a date?

242
00:14:58,294 --> 00:15:02,382
It's not. It's just never a good idea to tell
women more than they need to know.

243
00:15:02,674 --> 00:15:04,092
How come?

244
00:15:04,259 --> 00:15:06,594
Because we love them
and want to protect them.

245
00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:08,638
A clueless woman is a happy woman.

246
00:15:15,228 --> 00:15:17,563
- Can I have your pepperonis?
- No.

247
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,570
Batman!

248
00:15:25,947 --> 00:15:29,200
Come on. Come on, Trudy.
Come on. Come on.

249
00:15:29,367 --> 00:15:32,078
- Let's get you back to the Batcave...
- Oh, right.

250
00:15:32,245 --> 00:15:34,205
...or whatever cave
you crawled out of.

251
00:15:34,372 --> 00:15:39,335
Thank you, kind sir.
You are indeed a gentleman.

252
00:15:39,502 --> 00:15:43,047
Allow me to reward you.

253
00:15:48,219 --> 00:15:54,183
A salty! I shall now need a slice of lime
and a carafe of tequila.

254
00:15:54,851 --> 00:15:56,728
No, thank you. No, no, we're fine.

255
00:15:56,894 --> 00:15:59,647
Hey, come on, Trudy.
Let's take you home.

256
00:15:59,814 --> 00:16:03,776
Okay. But we'll have to be
really quiet...

257
00:16:03,943 --> 00:16:08,239
...because my roommate is detoxing,
so she's kind of a light sleeper.

258
00:16:09,365 --> 00:16:11,617
No, no, I meant home to your father.

259
00:16:11,784 --> 00:16:14,078
Oh, God.

260
00:16:14,245 --> 00:16:16,414
Daddy!

261
00:16:16,581 --> 00:16:22,336
Oh, I'm such a disappointment to you.

262
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:26,966
Hey, your aftershave has alcohol in it.

263
00:16:36,392 --> 00:16:38,019
So why is Dad's car a chick car?

264
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:41,773
It's not really. I was just saying that
to bust his chops.

265
00:16:43,858 --> 00:16:46,110
Chops are your nuts, right?

266
00:16:47,904 --> 00:16:49,405
Right.

267
00:16:49,781 --> 00:16:51,824
Mom said it's a midlife-crisis car.

268
00:16:52,658 --> 00:16:55,828
Well, she was bound to be right
about something eventually.

269
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,666
What's a midlife crisis?

270
00:17:01,959 --> 00:17:05,588
Well, Jake, it's when a man
starts facing his own mortality...

271
00:17:05,755 --> 00:17:08,090
...and tries to recapture his youth.

272
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:11,052
I've had one of those.

273
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,222
Do tell.

274
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:18,559
Life was so much simpler
when I was 6.

275
00:17:22,355 --> 00:17:24,232
Hello? Hey, Dad.

276
00:17:24,398 --> 00:17:26,901
Listen, don't worry
about your midlife crisis.

277
00:17:27,068 --> 00:17:30,071
They usually go away
over summer vacation.

278
00:17:31,906 --> 00:17:34,450
He wants to talk to you.
Are you here?

279
00:17:36,536 --> 00:17:40,039
Yeah. Whoa, slow down.

280
00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:42,208
Well, how drunk is she?

281
00:17:43,501 --> 00:17:46,587
Really? Batman drunk?

282
00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:51,259
Well, just dump her
with Mom and her father.

283
00:17:51,425 --> 00:17:52,843
Where are they?

284
00:17:54,178 --> 00:17:56,138
Viagra and a bad ticker.

285
00:17:56,305 --> 00:17:58,975
Mom loses more boyfriends that way.

286
00:17:59,392 --> 00:18:02,436
Alan, calm down, calm down.
Listen to me. Here's what you do:

287
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,146
Take her to a club...

288
00:18:04,313 --> 00:18:07,525
...pin a warning note on her back
as a courtesy to the next guy...

289
00:18:07,692 --> 00:18:09,735
...and run like hell.

290
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:14,240
Well, if you don't want my advice,
why'd you call me?

291
00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:16,576
Okay, how about this:

292
00:18:16,742 --> 00:18:19,537
Put the top down
and let the night air sober her up.

293
00:18:22,039 --> 00:18:24,542
What's plan B?

294
00:18:31,465 --> 00:18:33,467
How come you don't have
a date tonight?

295
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,511
I decided I'd rather hang out with you.

296
00:18:35,678 --> 00:18:37,430
- Really?
- No.

297
00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:40,808
You're saying that to bust my chops.

298
00:18:41,517 --> 00:18:43,060
No.

299
00:18:45,354 --> 00:18:47,606
- Hey.
- Hey.

300
00:18:47,773 --> 00:18:49,859
- How was your date?
- Oh, lots of fun.

301
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,695
- Think you'll marry her?
- Doubtful. Charlie?

302
00:18:55,406 --> 00:18:57,992
What happened?
You take her to a club and ditch her?

303
00:18:58,159 --> 00:18:59,744
- No, I couldn't do that.
- Why not?

304
00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:01,620
Well, it's cheesy and immoral...

305
00:19:01,787 --> 00:19:05,124
...and I'm really not comfortable
having some valet touch my car.

306
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:07,793
- So where is she?
- In the garage.

307
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,754
- Oh, Alan.
- Well, she passed out.

308
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,923
- I figured I'd let her sleep it off.
- You left her in your car?

309
00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:14,675
Why not?

310
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:31,817
Well, at least she left
the garage door open.

311
00:19:39,749 --> 00:19:42,878
It's a red Porsche Boxster
with dealer plates.

312
00:19:44,129 --> 00:19:47,966
"Porsche."
Yeah, about an hour ago.

313
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:50,927
Hey, Dad, check it out.
Your car's on TV.

314
00:19:56,308 --> 00:19:58,393
I'll call you back.

315
00:19:58,643 --> 00:20:01,855
<i>- chase so far. The suspect was
first spotted in Malibu...</i>

316
00:20:02,022 --> 00:20:03,690
<i>... on the Pacific Coast Highway...</i>

317
00:20:03,857 --> 00:20:06,401
<i>... and is now southbound
on the 405 freeway.</i>

318
00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:08,069
Oh, God!

319
00:20:08,278 --> 00:20:11,865
Don't worry. I've watched
hundreds of these. They never make it.

320
00:20:12,032 --> 00:20:15,785
<i>- she just ran over the nail strips
that the Highway Patrol laid out.</i>

321
00:20:16,202 --> 00:20:18,455
Oh, man, look at the sparks.

322
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:21,541
That's because
she's riding on rims, Jake.

323
00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:24,544
You gotta like
how your car handles without tires.

324
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:26,921
Oh, God!

325
00:20:27,088 --> 00:20:28,798
<i>Whoa, that was a close call.</i>

326
00:20:28,965 --> 00:20:33,178
<i>She sideswiped that SUV
and kept right on going.</i>

327
00:20:33,345 --> 00:20:35,555
What's that dragging
alongside Dad's car?

328
00:20:35,722 --> 00:20:38,058
I think that's the door.

329
00:20:38,475 --> 00:20:41,645
- Cool.
- Oh, God!

330
00:20:41,811 --> 00:20:44,814
<i>Dale, this is Trish in the studio.
Can you see the suspect?</i>

331
00:20:44,981 --> 00:20:46,483
<i>How do you know it's a woman?</i>

332
00:20:46,650 --> 00:20:49,152
<i>Well, Trish, we actually
don 't know it's a woman...</i>

333
00:20:49,319 --> 00:20:53,323
<i>... but thought it was a safe bet
based on the type of car.</i>

334
00:20:53,531 --> 00:20:56,826
It's not a chick car.

335
00:20:57,327 --> 00:21:00,538
Relax, Dad.
He's just busting your chops.

336
00:21:26,356 --> 00:21:28,441
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

337
00:21:28,608 --> 00:21:30,693
[ENGLISH]